The picture above still brings tears to my eyes a week after the sudden loss of 9 human beings, one of them being Kobe Bryant. I was not a Laker fan, in fact this man assisted in shutting down my beloved Sacramento Kings more times than I care to count. But this isn’t the point of this entry. This entry is about something greater.
This week has been very emotional for me and I have been trying to figure out why I just break down in tears when I’m alone, or why I have been holding back tears for almost a week every single day. I had no ties to the souls. I did have the honor to meet this young man his rookie year on several occasions. In fact, I brought him two rookie cards for him to autograph for my younger cousin, and he told me he would only sign one of them. I asked him why and he said, “because when I am a hall of fame basketball player after I retire, the unsigned card will be worth more because it is in mint condition with no damage. My autograph would damage the card.” I didn’t understand what he was telling me but he was right. The man was smart. He was kind. He treated his mom to brunch every Sunday. He flew his high school basketball coaches for Philadelphia to Los Angeles just to watch him play. He was respectful and treated me as a human and did not act better than me. Just an all around great young man.
But again, that isn’t what this post is about. This post is about something bigger. Why have I been an emotional wreck? The picture attached to this entry has been in every news outlet….Every. Single. Day. And it is this photo that breaks me. You can see pure happiness coming from both dad and daughter. Just a pure, loving, father-daughter bond. A bond that only other fathers with daughters would understand. This photo saddens me because this bond has left our planet. A bond so strong, so pure and so loving is gone. And it begins to start a thought process in my head, that he had three other daughters that have also lost that bond, that connection, and that is when I begin to weep. I weep for those three young ladies. I weep for the wife that has to dig deep and be strong for those three ladies and is not allowed to be weak unless she is by herself. I weep for the other bonds that were on that aircraft and the families that are connected to those bonds. Then I begin to weep uncontrollably, because I have two daughters, and I would not know what I would do if I ever lost one of them. I weep thinking if something ever happened to me, the loss my girls would feel and the pain they would have to endure.
I am wondering if I have been the only dad that has been feeling these emotions. It has been very hard this week. I can’t sit down and watch tv without seeing something about this tragic event and I either have to change the channel, get up and walk away, or sit there and push down my emotions. Has this been a difficult week for other dads with daughters? Have you made your daughters a bigger priority this week than you have ever before? Have you held them tighter, longer, or closer? I have. And as of now that has been the only good I have taken from this sad event.
I share custody with my ex, and we share one week on, one week off with our girls. This week my girls have been with their mom. And I just want them so badly to be with me. As a result, I have been FaceTiming them every morning and every night. Something that I have never done prior and now it is something that I look forward to doing. My eyes are wide open! Every week I don’t have with my girls are moments of time I will never be able to cash in. They are lost. So it is important for me to make every moment count, even if I can’t physically be with them. My daughters are my everything. They are my world and everything I do is for them.
I have also noticed that as a result of this event, the world mourned together. Black, brown, white, Asian, it didn’t matter the race or sexual preference or religious background, we all came together as one to mourn a human being that has touched so many people. It’s amazing how one person, had a dream, worked his butt off to achieve that dream, and in the process touched so many lives. That is what life is all about! If you are not spending time helping others than you are wasting your life away.
When I think about these two take aways that I have gained from this sad, sad event, I feel grateful. Grateful that I still am able to spend time with my daughters. Grateful that I see a glimpse of hope for humanity. If one man did this, imagine if we all strive for the same outcome. I become hopeful.
And to the Bryant family. If they ever get a chance to read this, I just want you to know that my heart hurts for you. My tears are for you and your loss. My prayers are for everyone in that helicopter. I pray that God gives you the strength to get through a time of your life that many people would crumble from. To the young Bryant girls, thank you for sharing your dad with the world. Thank you for your sacrifices. I know your dad and the Heavenly Father will bless you and will allow you to live on in your dads memory.
RIP Kobe Bryant. Thank you for your impact on this world. Thank you for being human and showing kindness to many. Thank you for the memories you have provided to so many people. You will be deeply missed.
Hug your loved ones. Tell them you love them everyday. Avoid the bullshit arguments and mend any torn relationships that are meaningful. Today may be your day you leave the planet. If it is, be sure you leave an impression on peoples souls.
Troy Goings Coaching 